when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
