Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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