ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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