Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
