The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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