Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
