Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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