i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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