Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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