New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
