Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
