ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
