Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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