I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
