ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
