Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
