In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
