Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
