If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
