I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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