I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize