I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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