For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
