Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
