therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
