Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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