to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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