genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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