You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
