I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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