I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
