Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize