I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
