I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We need a shit load of segways right now
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
God I need to hump something, right now.
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