I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Are we still banned from the library?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
