New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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