Whod you bang
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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