If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
