She announced her abortion via fbk
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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