Princesses don't give blow jobs
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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