I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
