I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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