If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
