You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
