Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize