just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
