Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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