Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
