in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
