I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
