Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
