You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
