the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am midnight drunk by noon
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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