it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Small penises have feelings too.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
did i walk over a car last night?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
