Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
