I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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