Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
