my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
