chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just want to make out with him forever
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
