He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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