she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
