nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
