woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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